Wrote this a whileeee ago as well, but never posted on le blog…
I don’t know why but it’s always been really hard for me to make choices. Like ever since I was a kid. Every single time we went to Mr. Biggs (JOINT OF LIFEEE), I could never decide if I wanted scotch egg or sausage roll or fried rice or whatever. Lol. This might seem like a trivial thing but it’s actually a very big problem I have. I can hardly ever make decisions for myself; I’d rather someone else make them for me, provided that I’m not harmed by the outcome. Anyways, this post isn’t about me so lemme move on.
At some point in life, we might have to choose between two people (or sometimes three to five sef if you’re a boss B-) ) that love us so much.. (There is a higher possibility of this happening to hot keks so if you are a hot kek, try to read this to the end :p) .. And a choice like this cannot be made by anyone but us. It’s not a “Biko you’re wasting time. I’m getting you scotch egg” choice that your mom can make for you. It’s a solo affair. It would obviously be a very difficult choice to make, especially when we ourselves have feelings for both people. Choosing one will definitely hurt the other, and you cannot keep stringing both on cuz one does not simply eat his/her cake and have it… So you eventually choose… And one person gets hurt.
Now, I have nothing against the choosers in such situations. As I said, you can’t keep stringing someone on. What I actually have a problem with is when the chooser chooses and then, doesn’t let the non-chosen go. I see this in so many movies and series and it gets me sooo mad. So mad that I actually shout at my laptop screen “What is your problem? You made your choice now so leave him alone! *insert long Yoruba hiss*” Let me explain. I believe that once you make your choice, you should just leave the other person be, no matter how much you love him/her. If you loved him/her as much, then maybeeee you should’ve chosen him/her in the first place?? I don’t see why you should bring up shared intimate memories from the past in regular conversations, or why you should keep telling them how much you love them or care for them or whatever. Like how does that make things better in any way?? IMO, the message you’re basically passing across is “Hey, I love you but I obviously don’t love you as much as I love him/her, so would you be honored to be my side-boo?”. Like COME ON. Is there anyone that likes being an alternative? An opportunity cost? I think NOT. Keep your sweet nothings to yourself please.
I believe that if you make your choice, you just need to let the other person go COMPLETELY. Don’t play on the person’s emotions. Don’t make it hard for him/her to move on. Just let go. Let the person find someone else that would put him/her first… to find someone that would not treat him/her like an option… to be free… to be happy.
Remember; at times, if you love someone, you need to let him/her go.
Peace and love