Wrote this last night but was too tired to post x_x…
Hi sweet-thangzzz! So today, I went to my family friends’ church, it’s a predominantly Nigerian Foursquare church. The sermon for today was meant to be on fellowship with the Holy Spirit but you know how Nigerians love to deviate. Lol before we knew it, the pastor (who I actually enjoy listening to cuz he’s so hilarious) had started talking about dating. He kept on repeating, “Dating is bad! DATING IS BAD!” Appaz he was talking about the immoral aspects and all that, but I wasn’t comfortable with the fact that he just generalized the term. Because by the way the parents in the congregation kept whistling and shouting “PREACH ON PASTOR!”, I knew many of them would literally hang on to every word he said and go home and shout at their children, “Nkechi, did you hear what pastor said? NO DATING IN THIS HOUSE, YOU HEAR ME!?” Lol anyways, when we got back home, the topic came up at the dining table. And I went innnnnnnnnnn! Haha, if you’re my friend and you’re reading this, you know how I get when I argue-argue. I talk so fast with my hands everywhere, my eyes sharp, and sometimes when I feel super-confident about the topic, I tease and have this smug smile on my face, and I can be frustratingly dogmatic. Lol that’s how I was today cuz I could just NOT understand how and why people would get married without a period of dating or courtship or whatever fancy name you’d like to call it. Our (Me with my cousin’s support VS my aunty and uncle) argument went on for agessss but at the end of the day, we arrived at common ground. They agreed that the pastor might not have exactly chosen the right words but they made me understand why he said what he did. Along the way, my uncle said, “Chioma, if you are aware of these three things and always bear them in mind, you can handle any man in this world”. I’ll share these three things with you 🙂
1) Men think with their groins and are GREATLY influenced by hormones.
2) They don’t mean the things they say; they just want to get into your pants.
3) They are NOT ready to commit.
I’d heard all these things before but I guess I didn’t just want to believe that MOST (he said ALL but I want to hope that there are exceptions to this rule, no matter how few they are) boys were this way. Hearing my uncle say them made them sink in more though, not only because he’s a man but also because he was speaking from his own past experiences. Eventually, the right boy/man/guy/whatever will come at God’s appointed time, but right now, guarding your heart might just be the best thing for you. Now, I’m not saying that people should have the “Cheating/heartbreak is inevitable” mentality… But I feel like even if you believe with all your heart that ohh this my boyfriend is the besttt, he loves meee, blah blah blahhh, you still shouldn’t let yourself ‘fall in love’ to the point that you’re completely vulnerable. Because if you’re at that stage and things don’t go according to plan, and you happen to find out that the person was either soaking your head in garri or he wasn’t exactly who you thought he was, you’d become so devastated cuz you’ve put so much trust in him and given your all to him. However, if you’re more guarded, I feel like yes you’d be sad as well, but at the same time, you’d be more cushioned for disappointment. Personally, I used to love trusting people but now, some of the people I really reallyy trusted have proved me wrong, and I believe that it’s always advisable to trust fewer people. But the thing is I feel like I might be reaching the point where even when the right person actually comes, I’d give the person a really tough time cuz I won’t be able to trust or I’d be too guarded. Oh well… Just felt like sharing some of my thoughts of the nighttt. Hope everyone had a lovely Sundayyy! God bless! 🙂 xx