On a scale of 1-“Ah God, are we fighting”, how bad was your 2016? (1)

I actually had no idea 2016 was a ridiculously crazy year for almost everyone else as well until like a couple of days ago on twitter. Son, this year was truly a rollercoaster for me–not just any obele rollercoaster but a Kingda Ka type rollercoaster. However, thinking about my year now as I type, I’m beginning to invalidate my setbacks as I often tend to do. I didn’t lose anyone dear to me this year, and that in itself is an amazing blessing, you know. For this, I remain grateful to the Most High… but still, let’s dive in!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 🎉🎉🎉”

I started my year off at Falucka Lounge, some hookah bar in West/Greenwich Village(?) with my babes, I, T, and O. Not-so-fun fact about me: I don’t smoke hookah, and I really hate the smell (I actually prefer the smell of cigarettes). “So why were you there then?”, you may ask. Well, the first time I went there, the music was SO poppin and there were TALL, dark and handsome guys. Plus that day, my sis S got a table, so ya girl was the rihhh amount of lit uno but LOL I digress. Anyway, after our first two NYE moves of the night didn’t turn out as planned, I decided to just brave the Falucka smoke and go and enjoy myself.

Once I stepped in, I made eye contact with this BEAUTIFUL human being. He was dark-skinned, cute, chiseled bod (even on top his dark camo jacket, his spring-break-bod physique was just shining thru), looked about 6’5″. So guess what I did? … I removed my eye and forgot about him–Okay I lied, we made eye contact like twice again, but after that, I forgot about him. Let me tell you why. In life in general, I keep my expectations mad low to avoid disappointment (if this sounds very unhealthy/unfortunate to you, I promise you it’s because I’m not explaining this statement in detail–might write another post about this later!) so when I saw him, I was like “Omo this one pass me”. Plus I’d already prejudged him: “See his muscle and earring. This one is probably an Alpha, very cocky–he doesn’t do the toasting; girls toast him instead”, so ya girl wasn’t trying to start the year off with a hot L.

So my girls and I walked into the lounge proper, and skillfully placed our coats on some couch even though we didn’t buy the table (literally have a PhD in this 😂) in preparation to hit da dance floor. As we were dancing away, one of those sweeet Jamaican songs came on so I shouted my regular “Ayeeee” and started feeling the music. The next thing, I felt a human being’s hand on my waist. I looked back, RBF on, ready to “appraise” the individual 💀… and fam, I was shook. It was the beautiful young man. I was literally so surprised but hyped at myself at the same time like Chioma is that you yea??? The discomfort of this dress done paid off unoo LOL jk but yeah it was a very crush-y moment.

So we danced to a couple of songs (he had rhythm! Wasn’t doing the most or being an Azonto/Milly Rock warrior but he was rhythmic) and then I went back to my friends. I actually loved dancing with him because standing 5’10” tall as a proud member of the Tall Girl Gang, I’m not usually “privileged” to encounter guys that proper tower over me, younaamean? Anyway, my friends being my friends all “congratulated” me in shared astonishment 😂  At this point, I was like oh truuu? I’m already enjoying this 2016. But the night got even better…

So I’m talking to my friends, and beautiful-young-man (BYM) touches my arm.

BYM: Hey, excuse me?

Me: Oh hey! What’s up?

BYM: Are you Nigerian by any chance?

Me: Yeahh! How could you tell?

BYM: Oh I heard your accent when you were talking to your friends. I’m Nigerian too!

(GUYS, HE WAS NIGERIAN!!!)

Me: Stopp! You’re kidding–what’s your name?

BYM: Well, my name is B****, but my Nigerian name is Shuhmerr (Chimere)

(MANDEM WAS IGBO TOO!?)

Me: Ohh cool! I’m Chioma.

BYM: So you’re igbo! Nice to meet you **HUGS ME**

(Ya girl was melting inside, ngl 😂)

So he asked if my friends were all Nigerian, and said hello to them, chatted with us for a little bit and then retreated to his spot in front of the bar. (Side note: there was this one babe that worked at the lounge that kept flirting with him RUH LENT LESS LEE–couldn’t even be mad at my girl tbh, this boy was HOT haha)

Anyway, after a while, he moved towards the door area of the lounge, but he didn’t leave yet. He was just standing over there, nodding his head to the music not dancing with anyone. But we were STILL making eye contact. So I was like uno wot? Chioma, shoot this shot before this boy leaves. New Year, New Me. Last last, catch a liddu L but I’ll never see him again once I leave this place. So I walked up to him, and we started talking and dancing. Summary: Born and raised in the U.S. to Nigerian immigrant parents. 24 years old. Did his undergrad in Pharmacy at Howard, lived in Jersey with his family, but was currently living in North Carolina because he was getting his Master’s in Pharmaceutical Sciences at UNC. (MY GUY WAS SMART TOO) Wasn’t an Alpha because he wasn’t about that frat life (NICE FOCUSED BOY), and loved to come to Manhattan to party (WOW! SO MUCH IN COMMON 😂).

Anyway, the conversation was great–not awks at all. The music was really really loud so it was a struggle but I wasn’t even mad because since it was so noisy, he kept placing his hand on the small of my back and leaning over me “so he could hear me better” (LOL I actually hate myself as I write this). He asked me for my number, and texted me so I could have his, and when I was leaving, he hugged me like we’d known each other for forever😂 and was like “Really nice meeting you. Get home safe!”

I’m going to save you a longer story than this one already is and just let y’all know that this turned out to be an L. I’ll spare you the details (10% because of the length of this post, 90% because I don’t want to completely expose the ela I received 😂) but from the moment mandem saved my number in his phone as “Chioma New York”, ya girl shoulda known! But yeah that was my first L of the year–the most painless one actually. Wish I could say the rest were similar…

(hope I have the resolve to continue this series! 😩)

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11 thoughts on “On a scale of 1-“Ah God, are we fighting”, how bad was your 2016? (1)

  1. Girl you have to continue the series ! Sooo looking forward to the next story lol. This 2016 has deff been a year of Ls for me too like huge ones ! But while we are counting the Ls we must also count the Ws! Graduating, grad school, jobs …. 2016 not so bad after eh ? lol can’t wait for tour next post !

    • 😂 Thank you!! I didn’t but the later L’s of the year were much harder to overcome, trusss me haha. & thanks for reading! Was so dead @ your jollof post!

      • Cant wait to read about them (if you would be a darling and write about them of course 😏). You’re welcome. And as for the jollof, I aim to please 😊😊

  2. Loooool you’re actually too funny Chioma New York (That’s actually how I save numbers sometimes😂😂😂” “See his muscle and earring”. Maybe because I don’t know the details, this l doesn’t seem too bad. Just small letter l haha jk jk. You gotta continue it

    • 😂 I agree with you: this was def a small letter l. It made me really think about the courage you guys must have to constantly approach babes!
      LMAO “Chioma New York” just gives off an I have-multiple-Chioma-tings-in-other-cities vibe uno

  3. OMG!!!!
    You got me cracking throughout..u to funny meyn…talm bout, my girls congratulated me and all.you have such an engaging writing style . Meyn am looking forward to the rest of the story tho..lol

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